Finally free!

Well, I did it – I put in my letter of resignation today. What a burden that has been lifted! If I've not shared much on my blog it's because it's so public and this has been a private struggle. My company declared bankruptcy in August and even before that it was a painful place to work as people began being laid off in October 2007 when my then boss was let go and I was handed most of her responsiblities as the lead communications person. They put a technology vice president in charge of marketing and it hasnt been the same since.

The look on my supervisor’s face was priceless. I hadn’t planned on discussing my new plans - but you know they are going to ask, and as the shock continued and she didn’t speak I felt I had to fill the air and at least answer the only question she was able to form at the time.

I've accepted a position at our church as the Student Ministry Assistant. I told her this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And she didn’t bat an eye when I put in my letter my last day will be next Thursday – take Good Friday off and the rest of Easter week to enjoy my husband, paint the house (maybe) and take a few days to go away – our last hoorah for a while…

I guess I’ve never had a job pay me for something that was enjoyable enough that I’d do it for free – and I’m pretty much doing a lot of similar things already for free for this ministry. I would love to know how great it could be waking up wanting to go to work. And to work with people I respect, with a mission that I wholeheartedly support will be life changing.

I’m a comfort junkie, and even though this current place is evil right now, I know my job and I do it well – it’s just my heart isn’t it in anymore -- meaning I’m not longer doing my best, and doing sub-par quality work to collect a check doesn’t make me proud of what I do. Work done well honors the Lord, and I’m not even doing that anymore.

I’ve never worked in a ministry before – I know there will be great fellowship and accountability of faith, which I do crave working with and for other Christians. The question becomes one of getting over myself (going down to an “admin asst” position from where I am now as a communications director, but what my company has done with my duties has turned my position basically into a glorified admin anyway, but I have a snazzier title and pay), and working “for” friends.

The only down sides I can see are:

• seeing the church personnel for who they really are
• working FT for what could feel like PT pay
• the commute is a bit longer and more traffic depending on the hours and which route I choose
• the difficult balance between the work of the church and the fellowship of the church
• Not sure yet how this would affect the teaching we currently do Sundays or the work with the band

The pluses:

• I would get a chance to be creative again, designing flyers as needed, doing event coordination, and almost being a big kid.
• In the summer they like to plan events for the students so a “work day” could involve a fellowship day at the beach.
• I’d be getting paid to do things I already do for free
• Assisting the church is doing a role that could have eternal significance to a student who may come to know Christ as a result
• The growth I could experience spiritually by sitting under the leadership our of pastor – staff does mandatory devotionals Tuesday mornings and I’m ready to learn
• The position is pretty secure and the church has yet to experience a lay off
• Everything is done in the light – no secrecy, conflicts are handled, meetings may be frequent but that is to keep all parties informed
• I love the staff already – these people cared for me in my hardest days (dad’s death, MS diagnosis, blindness, etc)

So there you have it. My departure is schedule and I'm excited and scared, ready and not ready. But I trust the Lord, I thank my husband for partnering with me on this journey and I don't know what lies ahead, but I'm sure ready to find out. Pray with me and for me as I depart from this place (4/9) and make a new career serving the church and the Lord full time (4/20) Eeeek!